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Iceland
Iceland is an island nation situated in the North Atlantic (no really it exists). It is inhabited by short bare-footed women who live in huts made of mud and snow. Thanks to global warming, it will soon be known as Landland History Iceland was founded in 600 A.D. by Erik the Leaferson and his crew of Minnesota Vikings. They arrived in ships made of danegold in the summer, but by winter they realized it was f***ing cold. They left for Florida that winter, leaving behind their womenfolk who grew short over the years from a diet of ice and lichen. The descendants of those women can now be found on your local street corner wearing fishnets. Many claim that it is in Europe. Those people are wrong, and it is indeed trapped in the gravitational pull of Greenland. Economy The biggest exports for Iceland are: Ice, Bjork, midget slaves women and unstoppable hockey teams who can only be beaten by a group of young American heroes led by the great Emilio Estevez. In 2009, Iceland's government collapsed and was taken over by lesbianshttp://us.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/europe/02/01/iceland.pm/index.html. Government Iceland is ruled by a system of govenment known as "Icelandofascism". Currently Iceland has a Gay Queen... no wait... it is a Lesbo King?... they have a homosexual as their overlord... Global Warming The biggest issue facing Iceland is global warming, which threatens to melt the ice, leaving only mud. This would effectively create the nation of Mud-and-rock-land. Controversy Iceland does not dispute the existence of Global Warming. The controversy is over what they will rename their frozen hellscape once it defrosts. There are two major factions battling over the future name: # The Mud-and-rock-landers # The Rock-and-mud-landers This dispute was brought before the UN. America's John Bolton volunteered to mediate between the 2 parties. After 5 minutes in a locked room, the Mud-and-rock-landers' leader had a black eye, the Rock-and-mud-landers' leader had trouble finding his pants, and Iceland was unmoored from its foundation and was sailing toward the Middle East. 2010 Volcanic Eruption In April, 2010 the Eyjafjallajökull volcanoe erupted and blocked air traffic throughout Europe. So, if nature spits crap in the air, its not pollution even as the air is filled with volcanic ash that's okay, because it also prevents planes from flying which do spew crap in the air. Explain that Al Gore! Icelandic Trivia * The name "Iceland" is simply the English word "island", but said while shivering from the cold. *Iceland is actually not made of ice, but rather fresh, fresh minigolf. *Iceland has the ability to change into a molten fireball and fly off to the next galaxy to fight evil. But, as all the freakin' ice puts out the fire, it doesn't get very far. *It is home to over one kinds of bear. *Recently, the vice-dictator of Iceland proclaimed a thirteenth month for Iceland, between December and January, titled Decembuary. This month only has 14 days with 9 days to a week: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Stephenosity, and Colbertasticality. *Chuck Norris is a known supporter of Iceland for reasons better off not known. *All Icelanders have blonde hair. The C.O.W. Iceland sent 1 soldier to Iraq. External Tubes *Iceland to join Japan on the hunt of the White Whale *Iceland Outlaws McDonalds *Iceland burns last of McDonald's. Organize Crime to traffic Big Macs *Communist Iceland giving away free money! *Best Party Ever Wins Election! Polar Bear Declares War on Iceland *Iceland turning commie *The Collapse of Iceland, land of socialism Category:Scandinavian